Dating Devotional 1/27/2010

Gary and Gail Sciascia
1. No Rules Just Righteousness
a. Why do you think the Bible does not talk about dating?
i. Because they did not do it like we do it
b. We can either say one of the two things
i. The Bible does not say anything on it, therefore we should not do it
ii. The Bible does not say anything on it, therefore we need to have guidelines
c. Appreciate the people in your life that ask you about your purity and help you establish and follow guidelines in your dating
2. Whining or Shinning
a. Philippians 2:14-16
i. Dating is an area that we need to stand out from the world—the world is very corrupt in how they do dating
ii. When you see a couple that does well, a lot of advice is sought and taken—it takes a lot of conscious effort and humility
b. Absolute Purity Principle—if you are going to have a rule, here is the one to have
i. Matthew 5:8
ii. Mark 9:42-50
1. Most people live in such a way asking, “Where is the line of sin?”
2. Whereas Jesus calls us to get way away from that line!
3. Another reason why we practice in this church, disciples dating other disciples (1Cor. 7:39)
iii. Ephesians 5:3
1. Not only not sinning but don’t even get close to giving off a bad example
iv. Gail shared how women are emotional creatures and how technology can get someone’s heart out of control—Song of Songs 2:7; 3:5; 8:4
v. 2Corinthians 5:16-17
1. We need to do a reboot and get a totally new perspective on dating because we come in with such a worldly view
2. We need to change our view of how we view the opposite sex
a. Not there for your pleasure, but they are God’s daughter
vi. 1Corinthians 13:4-8
1. A big one here to get on straight when we talk about dating is “love always protects”
2. We need to protect one another’s purity
a. Women dressing immodestly
b. Talking in flirty ways
3. Do I give off a sexual vibe?
vii. Analogy about a train getting going, we do not protect the purity if we do not think maturity about not even allowing it to get going
1. Right and wrong ways to show affection
viii. The world will say we’re crazy but look at what the world is producing. When people get in trouble is when they leave guidelines
3. Practical Dos and Don’ts of Dating
a. Seek to build a great friendship because it serves as the best foundation anyhow
i. Worldly dating says, “I am attracted to you therefore I want to be with you,” whereas disciple dating says, “Let me get to know you as a friend and maybe we find out from God there is something more.”
b. Don’t waste your single years
i. Your ability for free time is unprecedented…and you can glorify God so much with it.
ii. Don’t bemoaned about being single
c. Do plan out your dates
i. If you plan it out verses not planning it out will make the difference in a date being special or not
ii. Find out what they like to do, get creative ideas
d. Don’t get overly intense or heavy
i. A date is not a time to go into discipling mode
ii. Keep the spirit light not heavy
e. Do be chivalrous
i. Get the door, don’t be sarcastic and make stupid jokes
ii. Have them in at a decent time because few good things go on well after midnight
f. Don’t rely on hormones
i. That infatuation feeling has a tendency to wyen, and it takes work to recreate it
ii. A lot of people are not willing to put in that work
iii. That is the time you see whether true love comes out or not
g. Do be a good date—encouraging
i. Does the sister say AMEN when you pick her up or when you drop her off
h. Encourage all the brothers /sisters not selective about it
i. We are brothers and sisters in a body, and we don’t want anyone to feel like an outsiders, like not on the in with people
ii. Everyone needs encouragement and so we need to have a giving ministry
i. Don’t have to spend a lot of money to make a date special
i. Would a brother feel secure taking you out on a low budget date?
j. Do show appreciation for the date
k. Getting Serious—
i. Proceed with a lot more advice than even when you are friendship dating
ii. Emotional progression before it’s time is dangerous
iii. Philippians 1:9 Message Interpretation
iv. Women get secure when the guy takes the lead, leading it in a godly way
v. Avoid weasel dates—just randomly meeting up
vi. Avoid black holes in the fellowship—gravitating toward one another too much
l. Who has the gift?
i. Based off 1Corinthians 7
ii. Not all gifts are permanent—so right now everyone in the ministry has the gift of singleness—take advantage of it right now
iii. The purposes of friendship dating are far reaching and have so much benefit
1. Thinking of friendship dates from a spiritual point of view calls you to even ask, “who am I least attracted to?”
a. We need to have the attitude to meet one another’s emotional needs even when it is not “natural”
b. If you remain selfish you will look back and wish you would have done it different.
4. Q/A Time Split Between Men and Women
a. What do you think about dating in other ministries—Campus dating people in the singles?
b. What about going to Singles Conferences?
c. What do you think about dating websites like DT Space?
d. Is it better to the idea of “building friendship” to interact with people in a group?
e. What about the issue of struggling with the fear of being single for the rest of my life?
i. It is not a dating issue but a trusting God issue
ii. The worst thing in the world is not being single but marrying the wrong person
f. What is a healthy attitude of finding the one at a young age?
g. How do you get back into dating after breaking up?
h. At what point should you get advice to start dating steady?It is a good thing to run it by someone mature as soon as feelin